Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Online Dating

Hi! Remember me? This is lil cartoon me- remember?


She sometimes appears when I blog about things outside of cooking. Back when I use to blog at all. Sorry I disappeared on you guys. This is one of those times when things stink to crazy degrees for having time for a blog- so, sorry I have been neglecting them with such fervor lately. My life has exploded. Much like my system was exploded with germs before. I was sick over the holiday weekend and then I got back and had this… well,  I’m moving this week and just had a huge themed going away/Harry Potter party (pics and recipes to follow SOON!) and then I also have Mack living with me now (the dog, my dog) and as I said already I was sick/am sick/feel like I may always be sick.

Which is why it was the perfect time to go to Seattle for 4 days. It was one of my best friends weddings and totally worth it (PS, no one ever told me how kickin' Seattle is!), but it wasn't helpful to rush to unpack and pack up to go across the country. Washington to Washington is no joke, guys.

Anyway. My life exploding is not the point.



Although, that explosion looks cool. The point is, I love this blog even if I don’t always do it justice. So!  Back to the purpose of this comic: Online Dating. I have this friend who told me to try online dating. And I said ‘sounds fun!’ and then she said, but ‘I mean seriously, Meaghan’.

And then I had to inform her that I don’t take many things (anythings) very seriously. That I am the kind of grown up who still is afraid of dry cleaning and doesn’t always know what her bank balance is up to. And then she reminded me we were talking about online dating and then I reminded her I had changed the subject on purpose and then she told me it was time for me to Date seriously. Again with the seriously. And also, Date. With a capital D-Date, not the lowercase d-date like I have been doing to this point. And then a debate erupted from this.




For one thing, while the difference between Dating and more casually dating is clear to me, I am confused why I need to start Dating right now. I have always been under the impression that when I met the right guy to convince me to open myself up to Dating again- which would be trusting someone with my heart/the risk of being turned into pulverized emotional goo- I would be more than happy to be Dating them. Happy to trust and take chances. In the meantime, I am confused why I can’t just be dating and then meet many people and see where things go with out putting things like potential emotional wreckage on the line. I don’t think I need to be Dating for the sake of Dating. I think I can keep dating and then shift to Dating if someone cool comes along and makes me want to try.

My friend said, fine, which made me think I had won. But then added I had to start meeting the right people so I could be dating more which would lead to Dating and the best way is apparently online dating. Anyone confused yet? Pretty much, she turned my argument back on me but, I am still not sure where that leaves us. Mainly because this caused me to be super skeptical and that’s where I still am.



I can’t imagine online dating to be the best place to meet people. Or meet people in a serious manner. Especially since my on-line persona is




So, you can see I am not going to make a great impression. Do people seriously on-line date? Is it a really serious thing? With emphasis on the serious?



I was under the impression it was just a way to “meet”. Plus, it always sounds like it may just be booty calls with strangers 80% of the time. No? These are the questions. I have plenty more. I just want to know what the real deal is here. I have since started asking around and a frack TON of my friends out here have online dating accounts. Is this a city thing? I know Washington, DC is a super busy city full of work-a-holics (OR people who just work all the time to afford to live here) so maybe people just don’t have time to meet people the non-web ways anymore?

How do people meet people normally? Are people looking for love, or hook ups? Both? Neither? I almost see online dating as some kind of messy game of roulette that you are pretty much gambling to lose.



Plus, and this may actually my biggest problem with it, what the heck are you supposed to put on your profile? I mean... everyone puts boring/nice things. How are you supposed to meet someone who really clicks with you when everyone seems the same?



I mean… who DOESN’T like those things?



That doesn’t happen. Ever. Everyone likes sunsets, and even if they don’t love them, they don’t actively dislike them. And even if they did, people wouldn’t put it on their online dating profile. Might as well say “I like to kick puppies” if you put “I hate sunsets at the beach” on your page. It might be more beneficial to put some negative things about yourself on your page though. Then people would know what to avoid. Like, okay, for me here. If I had a profile, I should put some of the following things so people know if that makes them crazy they should avoid me.






That would be helpful for guys to figure out if they should meet me. Putting things like “I like movies”… what’s the point? Who doesn’t like movies? Who doesn’t like hanging with friends? If you clarified “I like horror movies”- that’s something. Also, I wouldn’t be your ideal match as horror movies cause all kinds of nervous neurosis for me.



You can’t even really put on there what you’d appreciate in a person. My friend told me I was off the hook when I asked if I could put “needs to be tall enough to reach the tall cupboards, strong enough to open the stupid sexist jars, and brave enough to kill silverfish and check all ominous sounds the 1st floor of my house emits”.



I guess I get why that’s not okay to put online. I mean, if a guy put “shorter than me, good at cooking, nurturing personality” I may fit the bill but it would tick me off that he listed it off like that.

I suppose I get the whole "I am a person, not a check list" thing.

Alright, in rambling conclusion, I think I am missing the key piece of online dating. The ending theory will be that it’s a great way to meet people but, not to jump from stranger to committed relationship before you could write a real online profile for them. The idea of meeting more of the “right” guys is an intriguing one. I am a strong Christian and I’d like to meet more guys centered in God, I don’t think I could ever be really serious about someone who wasn’t. So, perhaps I’ll try a Christian dating site… sounds like a good plan. Or at least way to meet some Christians in the area. I’m still kinda a DC newbie. SO, I’ll try it. Maybe. It’s possible I have also psyched myself out now, ha.

If any of you guys DO have the skinny on online dating, I’d like to know! Places to avoid, things you recommend, or just to avoid the entire practice entirely. Myabe it’s okay. Maybe it’ll be okay. Then perhaps I’ll give it a try. Especially Christian dating sites, let me know, I’m considering it. Either way, I don’t feel like this is too serious an issue. Certainly not as critical as my friend made it seem. God’ll get me the right man eventually. Maybe he’s already around, maybe I still have to meet him. But one way or another, I am not worried, when I’m ready to Date, it’ll work. I want to be serious about someone, I do. But, I don't feel the pressure to rush into finding him yet. Maybe I'll meet him through a friend, at a bar, or through the interwebs...

In the meantime, I refuse to put “I like watching sunsets” on my page. If I ever have a page.


Even if it’s true.

11 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  2. This post made my day!


    also...I hate sunsets.

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  3. No reason to rush. date/Date only when you feel like it, and not because other people think it'd be fun. Your non-cat person, jar-opening, Christian man will definitely be there when you're good and ready.

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  4. I've been around the online dating world a little while, and I still don't know if I've figured it out. If nothing else, I've made a few friends out of the deal, so it's not all crazy people.
    I say give it a shot. You never know what could happen, right?

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  5. I've met some guys from online before. Some were creepy. Some were normal. It really all depends. I would advise writing to them for a few weeks before exchanging numbers or deciding to meet in person...you know, just to try and weed out the freaks.

    LDSLinkup.com is a Christian site.

    For my profile, all I had were lyrics to a song and I got a ton of responses. I then deleted that profile and made a new one, this time, being open and honest (you know, saying how I'm sarcastic and hypocritical and everything bad) and only ONE person replied. It's so dumb. I hate the whole writing-the-profile thing. Just say whatever you want to say. I'd recommend writing that you love to kick puppies. You'll be sure to get a lot of attention for that--whether positive or negative attention.

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  6. I met my boyfriend (Captain America) through online dating! I did it because I'm kind of a recluse, and I never go out, and honestly...I felt like meeting new people.

    I was skeptical. And there's a ton of creeps out there. A TON. I gave up trying to go with the flow and totally geeked out on my profile - I explained, at great length, about my facination with the human skeletal system, how I totally love sushi, and how I am a total hockey nut.

    I'm sure that it hindered how many people messaged me, but I don't care. They've got to find out sometime or another, right? Besides, I want to be with a guy who can deal with me rambling about bones (and I got such a guy. Even if he doesn't always understand it).

    I don't think you have to jump into Dating right away. Just date - the rest will follow :)

    Also, bit of advice: never ever pick someone up in your car, or let them pick you up. Trust me, you want to be able to escape if you have to (not to mention, totally not safe).

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  7. I enjoyed this blog post. A lot!

    Sadly, I can offer you no advice about online dating. My only dating advice would require you to re-enroll in college and take freshman year english again since that's where I found a great guy...but that wouldn't really be practical for you. It would also be weird and creepy.

    I know you'll find someone whether you do online dating or not, so I wouldn't stress about it.

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  9. If you have joined a dating site be ready to be bombarded by requests from a lot of guys. Some good and some bad. Firstly you need to complete your profile, preferences, etc. so you will have a good chance to get a good match. Try out a dating site's free services first before you pay for anything.

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