Skinny Deviled Eggs

Happy "eat those hardboiled eggs before they are expired!" Or, 10 days past Easter!

Hope you all were celebrating with family and friends! We had a great brunch with my side of the family, sandwiched with a work weekend.

Esquire and I have both been doing 50+ hour weeks as of late which has made life complicated. Easter at least was lovely :)

And the Skinny Deviled Eggs later in the week? Guilt free bliss.

Sidebar: our eggs were Batman.

Presenting Pretzels!

Hello, cooking world! First of all, whoever said married life was boring was lying. I feel like the whirlwind from the wedding is just now (almost two months later) starting to die down. I’ve been trying to keep the blog breathing through my comics page updates but now that my life is more organized and I have located my camera’s memory card/been able to take pics of my latest kitchen creations, the real updates can resume.

Food. Yum. Food posts. It is really all about food so, let’s get into it.

Halloween Partay: Mac & Meat and Pepperoni Rolls

Not the prettiest picture, sure but, one of the most delicious spreads out there.


Gosh, I love cheese. And meat. And carbs.


Look at those pepperoni rolls! And mac and meat! Which is just like hamburger helper from what I understand of hamburger helper. But this one uses the blue box and your own ingenuity. 

Mac and Meat!

Pepperoni Rolls!

A truly perfect pairing.

So, I am having a huge halloween party at my house today. Huge. Hugest party I have ever had. So, there is a lot to do and stress over and pick at. 

Luckily I have comfort food like this to munch on and chill with. 

Also, I will try and post pics of the party/food and drinks sometime next week. Maybe as my Friday post. 

We'll see how together and adult I can be ;)

My Aunt Tootsie is a dietician and one of the best "throw things together" cooks I know. 

You know what I mean. One of those people who just tosses things together and they are just randomly deliciously perfect. 

These are two of her classics that she would make for us kids when there were seven of us and just 2 moms. 

I've been thinking lately of updating the Mac & Meat Recipe even further by adding some cooked veggies. Some more color and taste. It's just sooooo good and comforting as is that I am tentative to mess with it t all. Let me know what you think.

Mac & Meat

-1 box family size kraft mac and cheese

-1 can cream of mushroom soup

-1 lb ground beef

Prepare the mac and cheese and brown the meat. Once both are cooked, throw all ingredients together and enjoy.

Pepperoni Rolls

-4 packages biscuts

-1 package pepperoni 

Take a piece of pepperoni, fold a biscut in half around folded pepperoni piece. Lay out on cookie sheet, bake at 350 for 8-10 minutes.

B.L.T. Dip: Worth Killing For

So. This is pretty much the best dip ever. 


Seriously.


My roommate, Em, is in love with this dip. Spread on rye toast, wheat thins, triscuts, and bagels.... it's addicting. I even made it into chicken salad by using tablespoons of this dip instead of mayo. And look how pretty it looks.

See! Look how pretty! 


And it tasted EVEN BETTER!


Seriously.

So, pretty much you must make this dip. Because it is delicious. Pure pure delicious.

Go now, my loves. It WILL change your life.

B.L.T. Dip

-1 cup mayo

-1 cup sour cream

-1 cup (cooked) bacon, diced

-2 ripe tomatoes, diced

Combine all ingredients, chill for an hour. Serve with crackers. 

Jabba's Frog Guts

WAIT NO! KEEP READING! I SWEAR THIS ISN'T FROG! OR ALREADY DIGESTED FOOD! 

IT'S MEATBALL WITH PESTO! PLEASE STAY!

See? Not so gross taken in context. Pesto. Confetti meatballs.

Super yummy.

Everyone at the party was staring at me like I was crazy when this crock pot full of green goo presented itself. 

"It's like the frogs that Jabba is always eating!" I exclaimed. They still stared at me like I was crazy. I bullied a few into taking a few bites though and then, suddenly, they were gone! Inhaled.

Everyone said they were their favorite thing there. Everyone. out of 16 people, everyone said they loved these.

So, see? You need to make them. The recipe is here for the meatballs. I had originally planned on being super cutesy and making them shaped like frogs but, when I tried to put them in my frog molds I made a disastrous mess. So! Just normal meatballs it was.

Serve with some pesto sauce and enjoy. 

Sarlacc Pizza Dip

This dip caused a shocking amount of debate amongst my friend.

Should the clam-shell like Sarlacc be present? Or should it be old school and just filled with tentacles? 

What do you guys think?

Either way, this recipe from Noble Pig was amazing. You NEED to make it. Some Pilsbury bread sticks were manipulated into the shell and tentacles. So good...

Death Star Ritz Crackers

These went over SUPER well at the party. They were just way way too fun. And I got mad props for making my own ritz crackers!

I Told people to use them in the Sarlacc Pizza Dip but, they were popping them plain! They were buttery and delicious and mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

I got the recipe from this amazing blog here. I would totally make these again with a less pesky shape. Death stars = less than ideal. Although, super geeky. And super fun.

Make and enjoy!

Thanksgiving Treats- Figgy/Peary/Cheesy Goodness

What the hedge has happened to my blog as of late? All these complicated recipes keep cropping up on me, I have no idea how this has happened! 


Here we revert back to simple things. I suppose this blog has increased my cooking learning curve and now simple is different than it was a year ago... however, for the sake of my sanity with  all these daunting recipes looming, we are taking a step back to get our feet on the ground before I lose touch and accidentally kill myself in the kitchen.


Trust me when I say I am still a catastrophe when I cook, even if the results are beautiful :)


This appetizer was served at Thanksgiving last year and, since then, I haven't been able to get it out of my head. 


It is so delicious. And so easy. And again, so delicious.


I am a big fan of the combination of fruit and cheese. Some people find the combination less then tempting but, whenever I find the two together, I cannot resist whatever delicacy is being offered. 


This dish is from another Giada's Italian Kitchen book and my mom was kind enough to share the recipe with me when asked. Although, it's so straightforward, I probably could have pieced it together myself.


Figs, apples, and cheese. Sweet, savory, tart and on crunchy bread.


You need to try this.


Trust me.


Pecorino Romano with Apples and Fig Jam
-24 baguette slices
-1/4 cup grated pecorino romano cheese
-24 thin slices pecorino romano cheese
-1 large apple
-1 jar fig jam
-Olive oil for drizzling


Preheat oven to 375.
Place the slices on a heavy baking sheet and drizzle with olive oil. Sprinkle with the cheese, bake until the bread is toasted and the cheese is melted and golden. About 7 mins.
Slice the apple into 24, manageable pieces.
Smear each slice of toasted bread with fig jam, top with apple slice, and then cheese slice.


Serve on a pretty plate and freak out with how easy and delicious :)

Make Your Own Fruit Roll Ups

I know! I too was surprised that you could make your own fruit roll ups with ease! I stumbled upon (literally, stumbledupon.com'd) this recipe.

I'll tell you right now, Shania makes it look easy. And simple. And kind of beautiful.

And these are just fruit roll ups. It shouldn't be so intriguing.

And yet, I found myself buying an insane amount of fruit and rolling out the parchment paper to make them.

Now, this blog is called "Clutzy Cooking" for a reason. Namely that I am a complete mess sometimes. And this recipe, this was one of those times. I covered myself, my counters, and my beautiful new food processor (which was, by the way, the best gift ever!!), in pink goo.

Sticky pink goo. Sticky pink goo that stains.

My OCD personality was seriously disturbed by this entire fiasco but, once everything was cleaned up and the cookie sheets were in the oven, I was back to optimistic about my results.

Well, oops.

My oven doesn't have the low settings this recipe calls for in order to dehydrate the fruit puree. You need to set your oven to 150-180 and allow it to bake in the warmth all day. My oven had two settings, "WM" which I am guessing means "warm" and "200" which was past the maximum temperature of 180 by rather a lot.

I decided to set it between the two. Needle middling between "WM" and "200".

Allow me to be the expert to tell you that doing this will cause you to burn your fruit roll ups at the 4 hour mark. Which is about half as long as they are supposed to bake.

See how my roll ups didn't exactly roll right? That's because they got too stiff and burnt. Breaking into brittle shards in some places.

FAIL.

My friends still loved them though, even if I couldn't face the food failure. They even took leftovers home! So, for those of you who know how to follow recipes (which I don't apparently) and who won't make a mess (which I always do), you should try this out! The idea is extremely fun and, when executed correctly, a smashing success. Which is the reason I decided to post them, even if mine are less than ideal. Well, and the fact that my friends were begging for the recipe. Funny sometimes how even what we see as huge flops, other people find little victories in :)

Make & Enjoy <3

Rolled Fruit Leather

4 cups fruit (apples, pears, peaches, apricots)
1/2 cup water
1 tablespoon honey or agave syrup  (optional)
1 teaspoon lemon juice

Peel and dice the fruit, removing all seeds (unless you’re using berries, like I was. Then, don't be crazy. Keep the seeds). Add diced fruit and water to a stockpot and bring to a boil. Add in lemon juice and honey. Reduce heat to medium-low and continue cooking until fruit is cooked through and can easily be mashed. Using a stick blender or carefully pouring the cooked fruit into a stand blender/processor, puree the fruit until smooth. On a parchment-lined cookie sheet or dehydrator tray, thinly spread out the puree between 1/8″ and 1/4″ thick. Bake at the lowest oven temperature (150-180 degrees F) for 8-10 hours or according to the manufacturer’s directions in your dehydrator. Fruit should not be sticky enough to stick to you and grab on when touched. Remove cookie sheets from oven and allow to cool slightly. Roll up from one end to the other depending on the kinds of rolls you’d like. For Fruit-By-the-Foot-style rolls, roll from short end to short end and cut 1″ pieces off the roll. For Fruit Roll-Up-style rolls, roll the long end and cut 3-4″ rolls off the large roll.

This recipe is fun and should be treated as such! But if you're a clutz like me, just be careful. You don't want your treats to turn out more leather then fruit and more mess then fun like mine did.

*UPDATE* So, while I am not anxious to try this again, I found this cooking blog with a great tutorial on how to make fruit leather roll ups and maybe NOT be a disaster like me. For all of you looking, I encourage checking it out and maybe deciding on a batch modified between her recipe and the one I shared here. Thanks for commenting, all of you, and making me feel less like a foodie flop! You are all lovely people :)

Mr. P's Infamous Bruschetta

I got this recipe from a very lovable, very passionate, greek man who, while built like a 7 foot bear, has a true flair for cooking. This dish is PHENOMENAL.

BEYOND PHENOMENAL.

It's so good that it forces you to take a moment, close your eyes, and savor as you "mmmmmmm" and purr like a cat from the pleasure of all these flavors combining into ecstasy.

This dish makes me question how anyone could dislike tomato. Clearly, tomato is the secret to life happiness.

I made two large cookie sheets (this recipe yields a LOT but I doubt you'll waste anything) and my roommate and I ate them for dinner for the next two days. With some white wine and our patio door open to let the spring air in, I can't think of a better dinner ever had.

I hope you can make these with the same results. These are garlic heavy so, prepare to brush your teeth and down a few mints once you're through ;)

Bruschetta

-6 Roma tomatoes

-10 cloves garlic

-Fresh basil

-Dried oregano

-Dried basil

-Salt

-Pepper

-Olive Oil

-Balsamic

-Lemon Juice

-1 package crumbled feta

-1 loaf italian bread

-Butter

Dice your tomatoes and dump into bowl. Finely chop your fresh basil and add to the tomatoes. Drizzle with olive oil and balsamic. Chop your garlic as small as possible and then add it, and remaining spices, into your bowl. Everything is to taste here but, go for heavy flavors, after the garlic, it's pretty impossible to overpower. Drizzle with a tablespoon or so of the lemon juice to keep things fresh as possible and put into the fridge to let things combine into each other.

In the meantime, slice up your italian bread into about 1/2 inch thickness and then slice in half so you have decent size, not overwhelmingly sized, pieces of bread. Lay out on cookie sheets and spread with butter. Broil in oven about 4 minutes or until golden and crisp.

As with anything BROILED, watch like a hawk or it WILL burn.

Once fresh from the oven, let cool a bit and then spoon a hefty amount of the bruschetta over each slice. Top with the feta and serve.

Do NOT forget the feta. It is KEY. I have done a taste test with and without the cheese, not usually much of a feta person myself, and without it, the bruschetta is good, amazing even but not "ohmygosh, give me some time alone with this" good.

Ha, make and enjoy ;)

Salami Pesto Wraps

As with several other recipes that are soon to be posted, these salami pesto wraps came into being due to my moving out of my apartment and needing to use all my groceries before that time. I had a bunch of salami, as well as some cream cheese, pesto, and a tube of crescent rolls and so, these lovely snacks were born.

My roomie, Em, loved them. I can't help but agree that they are pretty dang delicious. The combination of salami and cream cheese is always spectacular, for those of you who doubt me, try it yourself and be amazed. Absolutely divine.

Salami Pesto Wraps

-Salami Pieces, sliced thin (for a package of 8 rolls, you need 16 thin pieces, 8 thicker)

-Cream Cheese

-Pesto

-1 tube crescent rolls

Roll the dough from the tube out into 4 rectangles, pinching and ignoring the lines they give you to cut into triangles. Cut 4 rectangles into 8 squares (just halve them all). Spread each first with cream cheese and then layer with pesto. Don't be shy here, that's where a majority of the flavor lives! Fold the salami round into half, then half again. You should have what looks like 1/4 of the circle layered up. Place into your prepared crescents and fold the dough to cover the salami entirely. Bake as per directed on the crescent package, typically at 425 for 8-10 mins or until golden.

Super Classy Spicy Baked Shrimp

Shrimp is perhaps one of my all time favorite foods. I love all shellfish but, shrimp being the most common and perhaps versatile of the shellfish makes it a classic love of mine.

And this is my favorite classic preparation. 

This is yet another family recipe, made by my mother and father for many a gathering, dinner, or lazy afternoon. The shrimp are cooked perfectly, seasoned to pure deliciousiosity, and when you have thin sliced french baguette served with the shrimp, it's over the top seafood sin.

Take a piece of bread, dip it in the pan's spicy sauce, spoon out a shrimp, pile it on top, and take a bite. Just prepare for a kick and a lot of smiles. I made it for my boyfriend and his family and am pretty sure it's what gained everyone's approval of me.

The left over sauce is amazing on its own just eaten off the bread. Long after the shrimp are gone, my family will be dipping the bread into the spicy oil and "mmm"-ing to our hearts delight. 

If you like shrimp, you'll love this easy recipe. Have I ever steered you wrong? No. So eat, and enjoy :)

Spicy Baked Shrimp

-1/2 cup olive oil

-2 tablespoons cajun/creole seasoning

-2 tablespoons lemon juice

-2 tablespoons parsley

-2 tablespoons honey

-1 tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon soy sauce

-1 pound uncooked, cleaned/deveined, shrimp

In a glass 13 by 9, combine all but the shrimp. mix around with a fork until bottom of pan coated and mixture is blended. Add shrimp, turn  in pan some to coat, and marinade in fridge for one hour.

Bake at 450 for 10 minutes. Serve with fresh sliced bread!

Goat Cheese & Pesto with Bruschetta

Frankly, the week back to school after Spring break is pure, bitter, hell.

Yep. I said it. Hell.

So by the end of the week, I was ready to die. Or at least splurge on my grocery list for some divine italian treats.

I picked up some fresh italian bread and goats cheese and a really nice little jar of pesto and the week melted away as I took the first bite of rich deliciousness. Hopefully you find it as satisfying and easy to throw together as I do. Enjoy :)

Broiled Goats Cheese Pesto Blend with Bruschetta

-1 package soft goats cheese (approx 11 ounces)

-1 container prepared pesto

-Prepared Bruschetta as a topping (*either packaged or home made, but you can substitute with chopped sun dried tomatoes. they 100% also work as a great topping)

Cream goats cheese and pesto together. If you're not a broke college student such as myself, you probably have a processor you can use to puree the two. Slice the bread into hearty slices. Lay out on a cookie sheet and spread a thick layer of the pesto/cheese blend onto each slice. Broil in oven for approximately 4 minutes. WATCH LIKE A HAWK! Some slices may crisp up faster then others depending on thickness and such so you may need more or less time. When done, let cool, spoon bruschetta over, and serve.

May your audience be lost in an "mmmmm" moment.

B.L.T. Dip

This simple dip is simply amazing. If you love tomato and bacon, (and who doesn't? I mean, really), then you must make this.

Must. Make it a new life goal of yours. 

This recipe is always asked after and it's really almost a joke how people react when I list the four simple ingredients. 

Yep. Four. 

Make and enjoy, my darlings. Make and enjoy.

B.L.T. Dip

-1 cup mayo

-1 cup sour cream

-1 cup (cooked) bacon, diced

-2 ripe tomatoes, diced

Combine all ingredients, chill for an hour. Serve with crackers. 

Brie Tartlets

This recipe is probably the most addictive I have ever put up here.

These little guys are popable and delicious. They are simplistic but take some time. I like to make the crusts ahead of time so then all I have to do is fill and heat up but, it's not much work to do all in one go either.

If you like brie, you'll love this as a snack. Plus, instant popularity to make for new friends. My parents used to make these for our family all the time, us kids freaked OUT over them.


But what kids don't like cheese and jam? Or what adults, for that matter?

Just overall a must make. 

Brie Tartlets

-1 loaf white (wonder) bread

-Plain brie cheese

-Raspberry preserves

-2 tablespoons melted butter

Cut all the crust off of ALL the bread. Yes, annoying. Roll as flat as possible with a rolling pin. Cut the large crustless squares into 4 smaller squares. (Quarter them). Press small pieces into mini muffin. Brush with melted butter, bake until golden (about 10 mins), at 350.

I always cut the white crust off my brie but, that's a personal preference. Cut the brie into enough cubes to fill the tarts. Top with a small amount of raspberry preserves. Bake (still at 350) until cheese is melted, (about 5 minutes). Serve warm.

Goat Cheese Dressed Fancy

Pioneer woman posted these on her exceptionally amazing blog and, mimicking the idea of rolling the ever divine goat cheese in spices to up the class and flavor explosion, I tried it out with similarly amazing results.

My orange goat cheese was rolled in Paprika and Cayenne pepper. I recommend MUCH more Paprika then Cayenne. But, it was zesty and delicious.

My green goat cheese was rolled in freshly chopped basil and then a collection of italian seasonings. I used rosemary, oregano, & garlic for the most part but, in the inspiration of just throwing whatever green spices I had that went with basil, things got a little out of control.

In any case and every case though, this was fun and a total cinch. Sprinkle on the cheese logs and then, roll. Sprinkle, roll. Sprinkle, roll. Until the sides are all nicely covered. Then serve with crackers! Completely divine. Enjoy :)

Caprese Salad & Roasted Garlic FTW

Ah, the Caprese salad. This just tastes like...fresh. It's clean flavors all lined up to create joy in your system. Served with bread, this is the perfect lunch time meal. Not too filling but just filling enough, crisp flavors that make your taste buds burst into Italian sonnets... it's all just very lovely.

Toss it together and give it a whirl. 

Caprese Salad

-Tomatoes (I use grape but, some like bigger slices, choose your favorite tomatoes, mixing types if you like, you can't really go wrong with any ripe tomatoes)

-Fresh mozzarella balls

-Fresh basil

-2 tablespoons lemon juice

-Salt/Pepper

-Balsamic

-Olive Oil

Chop the tomatoes, set aside in a small bowl. Add lemon juice, drizzle of olive oil, and salt and pepper. I love a LOT of both, salted tomatoes and pepper being something I am partial to but, use your preferences to guide your hand. Chop up basil and mozzarella and add to bowl, stir gently. Dish out and drizzle with balsamic to seal the deal. Divine ;)

Roasted Garlic. Yummm. 

Just let that roll around in your mind for a moment, let your memory recall and savor.

Roasted. Garlic.

The picture just looks like the bread has ridges but, that my friends, is smooshed garlic, the fork marks making it look jagged. Once you have roasted the garlic, that is how you should eat it. Smeared and smooshed onto toasted slices of bread. To do that, you use a butter knife to pull the cloves free of the skin and then smear them on to bread as they will be all roasted and soft and delicious. Add olive oil or butter as well if you're feeling particularly lustful. So simple and so very divine.

Roasted Garlic

-4 heads of garlic

-2 oz. Olive Oil

-12 oz. Water

Using a sharp knife, remove the top of the garlic head to expose the cloves. Drizzle or brush the heads with the olive oil and place in a shallow casserole dish. (Or au gratin dish if you're fancy). Fill the dish with 1" of water and cover. Bake at 350 for 45-60 minutes or until the garlic is soft and a golden, light, brown.

Creamy Cheesey Crab Dip

If you like Crab and Cheesiness...this is phenomenal amounts of both.

I am scrambling for things to say about it really. It's pretty straightforward. Delicious dip for crackers...

Or a slather on a bagel and that's been broiled in the oven! This was my favorite way to eat the creamy crab dip. Like a super classy Bagel & Schmear. 

Enjoy either way :)

Crab Dip

-8oz cream cheese (softened)

-2 Tablespoons milk

-1/4 teaspoon garlic powder

-6oz can crab meat

-1 tablespoon chopped green onion

Mix all ingredients and bake at 350 for 10-15 minutes.

Save the Pits!!! Guacamole

Guacamole is one of the most simple, delicious, dips of all time. And yes, it does happen to look like a moisturizing face mask.

Sure tastes good though.

Guacamole is one of those foods I group with chili dip and pizza. Yes, you can make a big production out of it. And yes, some of those times when you make super complicated and fancy recipes out of recipes that were previously 3 or 4 ingredients, it tastes even better then the easy version did.

But. Think of all that time you spent making it the complicated way. And, sorry, but a lot of times when people over think simple foods, I can't help but feel like they taste... less then stellar.

My one friend swears she makes the best guacamole this side of the country and makes a HUGE production over it. It tastes like cilantro goop.

Cilantro is a spice I will always insist to go easy on.

Anyway! SO, if any one has a recipe for guacamole that is more delicious but just as easy as my mom's recipe, let me know! I'm willing to add 10 minutes of production time if you swear it's really good.

P.S. And yes, this is, once again, a recipe so simple, it probably doesn't even count as a recipe...but there's a goooooood tip contained in there as well

Guacamole
-3 avocados
-Salt/Pepper
-Salsa


Mush your fresh avocado with a fork until it's at the texture you prefer. I like mine "whipped into submission" (Julie&Julia anyone?). SET THE BROWN PITS ASIDE. At salt and pepper to taste and then add at LEAST 8 good spoonfuls of salsa, more or less for the kick you like. This is how my recipe is cheating. Rather then finding my own combination of spices or chopping up tomatoes and onions to add some texture...My mom taught me to use the already tasty spice combos of mild salsa and prechopped veggies found within.

When you have your dip at a taste you find you enjoy, toss the brown pits BACK into the dip. Avocados are a very funny piece of nature, if you toss the pits back inside the avocado mush, it tricks the mush to somehow thinking it's still inside it's shell. Meaning, it doesn't turn brown. It stays all nice and green and flavorful for the entire length of your gathering.

Cool, huh?

Super Addictive Sausage Hors D'Oeuvres

As kids, my siblings and I always went crazy when our parents made these appetizers for a party.

They're seriously worth the hype we expressed as children. Like pigs in a blanket but with more flavors and class.

Yep. Class. That's why my mom always called them "Hors D'Oeuvres" and not just "sausage things". These are ritzy versions of a sausage roll.

Not sure why. There are no little black ties in the recipe. In fact, less then 5 ingredients. But hopefully you feel like the taste alone makes this recipe a class act.

Sausage Hors D'Oeuvres

-1 pkg Fully Cooked Sausage Links

-1 pkg Crescent Rolls (8 rolls)

-Parkay Squeeze Butter

-Oregano

Open crescent roll package and RATHER THEN BREAK INTO TRIANGLES, keep triangles combined and try to squish the dashed indents back together in order to make rectangles. Should form 4 rectangles. Spread butter on each square, sprinkle with oregano. You want to wrap the sausages in the crescent dough, cut the dough into smaller rectangles until you have enough pieces for each link. Wrap seasoned dough around links. Cut links into bite size pieces, (I tend to make it 4 pieces). Lay out on a baking sheet. Bake according to crescent roll directions until golden and puffy.